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Four tips for when you have to live apart


After a long fall and spring I have finally joined my husband in Hawaii.  I've been here 7 days or so and it's been so nice to be home.  My Airbnb in LA was nice but I was so ready to be settled and not live out of a suitcase. B and I have lived apart before and although I am not sure I want to do it again here are some tips to get you through :

1.  Binge watch Happy Shows
B and I have our shows like Survivor and Blackish that we like to watch together so I found silly shows to watch to lift my mood.  Aside from watching the Housewives on Bravo I binged Younger a show on TV land about a 40 something pretending to be 26 to re-enter the world of publishing.  It's super cute and kinda How Stellla Has her Groove Back vibe.  I also watched Catastrophe on Amazon prime.  It is hilarious and cheered me up plenty of times.

2.  Make new routines
Once B was gone, I felt a certain kind of freedom.  Before the freedom turned into loneliness I set up my new Laura L vibes.  Like Having Turmeric Lattes, listening to new Podcasts while I cleaned. I loved waking up way early and being able to make noise and spread out all my stuff in the bathroom. I also tried out new recipes

3.  Welcome a new hobby/ interest
Since I was left with just a yoga mat and a mattress for furniture I had no choice but to embrace minimalism and I really dug it.  I had watched the Minimalism documentary on Netflix and then filled my Saturday morning watching youtubers and listening to Minimalist podcasts.  I don't claim to be a minimalist but learning about it has made me be more intentional about what I acquire, especially since it costs $$$$ to ship your stuff across the pacific!  Here are some of the podcasts I listened to:
a.  The Minimalists
b. The practical minimalists

4.  Embrace your situation
I stayed behind in LA for many reasons, some financial, some practical and out of loyalty to my students and employer.  It was not easy at all.  I kept telling myself that there was a reason why God wanted me to have this time alone.  As much as I love California, I think it was a way for me to spend some time in my state and enjoy it before heading off to Hawaii.  Also, not having had kids of my own, I felt that there was a reason I was put into the lives of these girls and that I had to support them in their education.  Many people told me " I would have just left!"  and I often wondered if I was indeed crazy.  But in the end, I am happy with my choice because I had a great year with my girls and made so many happy memories with them.

Those are my take-aways.  I realize that many people especially those in the military go through this experience in more intense ways, this is just my personal reflection. I would love to hear what you think.

Have you lived apart from your partner for long periods of time?

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